This was edited April 2014 from its original first published as part of my March 2014 letter.
I’m cured! I’m cured! Thanks be to the great sacrificial kitten, I am cured! Oh, I don’t feel any different whatsoever, but I am cured! Behold the healing powers of dried platypus testicle elixir, I am cured! Chronic muscle pain and joint ache, daily fatigue and malaise, irrelevant, all irrelevant, I am cured! Blessed be the mercy and glory of the almighty Redd Foxx, I am cured!
Perhaps I come across a bit cynical about all this? It is some good news, after all, that my lung doctor has proclaimed my Sarcoidosis to be gone. I’ve now had two consecutive x-ray and lung function tests, over one year apart, that show that the tell-tale granulomas and swollen lymph nodes absent from my lungs. My lungs are back to ‘normal’. Thus, my lung doc believes the Sarcoidosis is gone. He cannot, however account for the continuation of all the other symptoms that continue to plague my body preventing me from embarking on a truly remarkable second half of my life. There remains some minor diminished lung function according to the breathing tests I undergo but the doc says these are more indicative of an asthma type symptom than active Sarc. The fatigue and muscle pain, well, nobody seems to have a clue about those; guess I’m just cursed with chronic decrepitude as I age.
So it’s a mixed blessing. It is certainly encouraging that the granulomas are gone from my lungs and no significant damage occurred. The doctor would like me to try increasing my physical activity to see how my body reacts. This advice I’m willing to heed as it conveniently coincides with a New Year’s resolution I’ve yet to embark upon. My body may feel like garbage on the inside, but that doesn’t mean it can’t look like a temple on the outside. Even more so, I mean. As for my annual lung testing, it’s all up to me. If I suspect things have changed or simply wish to get tested to make sure nothing is back, I’m welcome to set up an appointment. But I no longer need regularly scheduled yearly checkups with the respirologist. Even my nine month ophthalmology check up to make sure the Sarcoidosis isn’t in my eyes has been increased to eighteen months. Aside from the six month annoyance of a dental cleaning, the only yearly checkup I have left is the finger-up-the-bum visit with my family doctor. I am soooooooo glad that one didn’t get scaled back!
[I should have done this recap of old letters mentioning my health status before I wrote this letter. It would have reminded me just how often I’ve been “cured” in the past only to have Sarcoidosis rear its ugly head once again. It gives me some added comfort that my cynicism is not misplaced despite the optimism everyone else seemed to derive from this letter.]
Picture By Nightstallion03 at en.wikipedia (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], from Wikimedia Commons
I’m cured again too. But just in case, where do you get dried platypus testicle elixir? Or does that only work on males sarkies?
Very, VERY late night infomercials.
Heard about your blog on the sarc section of Inspire. Guess what, I’m cured, too! Well, sort of. That mythical “remission” that we all dream about. Only no one tells you that you’re going to still feel like crap even after you’re cured. Keep writing, I enjoy your brand of humor.
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my blog. I’m happy you found it enjoyable. I try not to get too caught up in rants though its hard to resist the urge. Being a healthy sick person can do that. 🙂