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A Crock of Schmidt

Single-handedly solving nothing

We Need a Hero

March 30, 2020 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

I’ll let you in on a little secret. You’re not changing anyone’s mind. Not theirs, not mine, not anyone’s. I’d have thought we’d all know this by now, but Covid-19 has exposed an enduring ignorance of this fact. You. Are. Not. Changing. Minds. Armchair proselytizers have flooded social media feeds with incessant badgering about correct […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: Social Media, superhero, superpower, writing

Kids Don’t Watch Enough TV

September 13, 2018 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

My kids don’t watch enough TV.  I know that’s a strange complaint to make, not to mention one filled with irony.  I am, after all, a child of the television-as-babysitter era and the subsequent, and still vocal, kids-watch-too-much-tv backlash.  By all accounts, every misstep in my life is attributable to the hours I spent each […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: cartoons, kids, tablets, television, TV

Slow Mo Reno – Timber!

December 11, 2017 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Chainsaws are the indisputable kings of power tools.  There’s not a man alive who doesn’t immediately devolve into Tim Allen ape grunting seconds after hearing the sputtered pops of a chainsaw being started.  When the throttle is fully engaged and the screaming metal shrieks through a neighbourhood, like DIY meerkats, men turn their heads to […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: DIY, house, power tools, renos, renovations, trees

What If The Dukes of Hazzard Had Been A CBC Show?

December 12, 2016 by acrockofschmidt 2 Comments

Imagine, for a moment, an alternate universe where Canada is the dominant entertainment production force on the planet rather than the United States of America.  Everything about the two countries is exactly as it is now the only exception is that Hollywood is in Vancouver and the major television networks dominating North American television since […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: '80s, 70s, Bricklin, CBC, Dukes of Hazzard, Seagrams, TV

9 Strange Foods I Ate As A Kid

November 28, 2016 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Considering the love affair we had with wood paneling and the preponderance of green, yellow, and brown kitchen appliances, it should come as no surprise that food was different back in the Seventies and Eighties.  Everyone was still blissfully unaware of the damage processed foods were potentially doing to our bodies.  People could still smoke […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt, Yummy Schmidt Tagged With: bologna, cereal, maple, Spam, strange food, wieners

My Envy Needs A Rethink

November 14, 2016 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

  I’ve envied a lot of people over the years. Still do.  Apparently that makes me a sinner, a deadly one at that, yet here I sit typing drivel still.  I find it odd that we include envy in the seven deadly sins.  Along with greed and gluttony, envy is a cornerstone of the very […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: envy, pyschopath, sin

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