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A Crock of Schmidt

Single-handedly solving nothing

My Life Is A Song #71

August 26, 2016 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Plug your nose and take a stroll past the change rooms in any arena during hockey season and you’ll hear the strains of hard rock blasting from behind the doors as minor hockey teams prepare for their games.  It’s as true now as it was thirty years ago when I played.  AC/DC is a given, […]

Filed Under: Music Schmidt Tagged With: girls, hockey, Judas Priest, metal, rock

Resolution 6 – That Bit About Losing Weight

February 8, 2016 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

6              I will lose 20 pounds by July 1st First of all, I need to correct a most unpatriotic error in this resolution.  I hereby properly assert that I will lose 9.07185 kg by July 1st.  It’s high time we Canadians fully embraced the metric system we’ve been halfheartedly flirting with for the past forty-five […]

Filed Under: Deep Schmidt, Sarcoidosis Schmidt Tagged With: beach, fat, fitness, girls, health, resolutions, sarcoidosis, weight

My Life Is A Song #28

October 30, 2015 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

If you’ve known me long enough you know full well my feelings towards dance music.  The Twist on Saturday nights was not what you’d call my favourite past time but dammit that’s where the girls were.  This song is from long after I stopped going to The Twist or any other such nightclub. I didn’t […]

Filed Under: Music Schmidt Tagged With: dance, Fat Boy Slim, girls, lyrics, The Twist

Forgiven For Distraction

June 2, 2015 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

When I was in high school, way back before smart phones and social media, in what modern anthropologists, historians, and teens increasingly refer to as the Actual Closure of the Dark Ages, I had a most memorable mathematics teacher.  In fact, good fortune saw to it that I had many memorable teachers throughout my education.  […]

Filed Under: Deep Schmidt Tagged With: boys, desire, distraction, dress code, girls, high school, teacher

I Bring You Tidings Of Great Joy

June 22, 2014 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Holy cow!  In light of current events, that exclamation might contain more fact than many of us would ever wish to admit.  Immaculate Conception is, after all, one of a limited number of possible explanations for what has occurred.  It’s certainly a more appealing explanation than one involving an overly eager and plainly disturbed father.  […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: calf, cattle, cow, girls

Wearing Glasses Will Get Me Arrested

June 1, 2014 by acrockofschmidt 6 Comments

Once upon a time I had perfect eyesight.  Better than perfect, in fact.  Falconesque some might say.  It’s something I took great pride in except for a brief period in about Grade 2 when I was really jealous of the kids with glasses.  I really wanted glasses.  I have no idea why.  It wasn’t because […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: girls, glasses, headache

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