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A Crock of Schmidt

Single-handedly solving nothing

Slo Mo Reno – The Paint Job

August 12, 2020 by acrockofschmidt 2 Comments

Here is why I hate fashion and design and anything to do with the overarching beauty industry. The seventies. Someone, or a select group of someones, decided, in the seventies, that brown was an attractive colour and should be plastered on highly visible items like clothing, cars, and houses. These same someones then decided to […]

Filed Under: House Schmidt Tagged With: designer, house, painting, renovations

Slow Mo Reno – Making a Grand Entrance

February 26, 2018 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Entry doors are unique and important parts of a home both functionally and aesthetically.  A really nice door is damn near impossible to take your eyes off of.  They are the first thing people notice about a house and they are often the first thing people touch, typically in a twisting fashion.  Doors come in […]

Filed Under: House Schmidt Tagged With: boobs, carbon, doors, energy, entry, renos, renovations

Slow Mo Reno – Timber!

December 11, 2017 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Chainsaws are the indisputable kings of power tools.  There’s not a man alive who doesn’t immediately devolve into Tim Allen ape grunting seconds after hearing the sputtered pops of a chainsaw being started.  When the throttle is fully engaged and the screaming metal shrieks through a neighbourhood, like DIY meerkats, men turn their heads to […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: DIY, house, power tools, renos, renovations, trees

Slow Mo Reno – Contracting a Sticker Shock

November 9, 2017 by acrockofschmidt 4 Comments

There are two groups of people in Calgary; those that work in the oil industry and those that renovate their homes.  Sure, there are thousands of others who work in service industries and the civil service, but in two years’ time when the NDP is obliterated in the provincial election and the “new” conservatives dial […]

Filed Under: House Schmidt Tagged With: Calgary, contractor, cost, debt, house, money, real estate, renovations

Slow Mo Reno – Designed to Fail

October 16, 2017 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

“You talk funny.” In retrospect, I should have shown her the door the moment those three words sprung from her pouty, Greco-Italian mouth like an upscale restaurant hostess’ over-stressed blouse button. I didn’t want to hire an interior designer but I felt obliged to do so.  Considering the money we were willing ourselves to spend, […]

Filed Under: House Schmidt Tagged With: budget, designer, interior design, renos, renovations

I Made A Contractor Cry

December 17, 2014 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

When I bought my first house I had three desires driving my purchase.  First, I wanted a place that was mine; not a rental, not my parents’, mine, all mine so that I could do whatever I bloody well pleased with it.  If I wanted to paint a room bright orange in honour of The […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: crying, house, money, renovations

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