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A Crock of Schmidt

Single-handedly solving nothing

F*ck Fifty

March 1, 2022 by acrockofschmidt 5 Comments

Today is my 50th birthday. No! No. Don’t clap. Don’t send me happiness wishes. Don’t click gleeful emojis on my social feeds.  Just. Don’t.  I have no desire to celebrate this loathsome birthday milestone. Nor shall I feign joy in reaching it. I do not like it, Moe I Go.  I do not like the […]

Filed Under: Deep Schmidt Tagged With: birthday, death, fifty, TPOH

My Life Is A Song #48

March 18, 2016 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

As I suspect is the case with most naïve, white, Canadian kids who grew up in the Seventies/Eighties, the first (and quite possibly last) rap/hip hop song I ever liked was “Walk This Way” by Run-DMC.  For many of us, certainly the younger ones, it was also our first introduction to Aerosmith.  Not only did […]

Filed Under: Music Schmidt Tagged With: Aerosmith, birthday, hip hop, sister

I Am A Homemaker (An Ode With Semicolons and Parentheses)

July 14, 2014 by acrockofschmidt 4 Comments

ICH BIN FRAU YAMUS! It took a full five years and two months, but I’ve finally done it. I’ve quit. I’ve capitulated. I’ve given up all pretense and self-delusion and accepted what I am. In fact, I’ve not only accepted it but I’ve fully embraced it. I’ve embraced it with the zeal of a newborn […]

Filed Under: Dad Schmidt Tagged With: birthday, Job, MRI, stay-at-home-dad

My Wife’s Fortieth Birthday and Why I Won’t Forget It

May 5, 2014 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

Guilt Trips are the Key to a Lasting Marriage And now fine readers we begin the coup-de-grace of this rambling opus.  To the virtuous, I ask your forgiveness in advance, for what you are about to read is both shocking and lewd.  This type of subject matter I typically refrain from sharing in my letters […]

Filed Under: Funny Schmidt Tagged With: birthday, party, wife

An Innocent Beginning

April 13, 2014 by acrockofschmidt Leave a Comment

This was edited in April 2014 from its original that was first published as part of my March 2002 letter. So, yes, I am now thirty years old. And true to form, I managed to get sick for this momentous birthday! Thirty frickin’ years for me to be sick, and I do it for my […]

Filed Under: Sarcoidosis Schmidt Tagged With: birthday, CFS, party, sarcoidosis, Sick

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